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Panic in the Tweets of London

January 19, 2011

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The above statement will have been familiar to the inboxes and twitter accounts of a fair few people in and around Oxford Street this morning. Only a few hours ago I was perched perilously on an upturned box, depserately craining my head to see if there was anything ‘going down’ up on Oxford Street.

Turns out – thank God – that there wasn’t. Rather, a tweet posted by fashion assistant Candice Bailey reading “Street style shooting in Oxford Circus for ASOS and Diet Coke – Let me know if you’re around!!” had put Twitter’s powerful propensity for misconstrual into full effect. Panic ensured. Inboxes ding-ed. Windows were rushed to. But the truth came out. Not a hoax, but a game of Chinese Whispers for the Twitterati of London’s West End.

 

 

 

 

 

So remember, in these tricky, re-mixable, re-combinant times, get your stories from a decent source. Otherwise there’s every chance the next ASOS photo-shoot you dash out to will involve you standing toe to toe with one man and his Glock.

Oh, and if there was any doubt, I leave you with the following:

MORGAN FREEMAN IS NOT DEAD

JEFF GOLDBLUM IS NOT DEAD

BILL COSBY IS NOT DEAD

MEL GIBSON IS NOT DEAD

OPERA WINFREY IS NOT DEAD

MICHAEL JACKSON IS DEFINITELY DEAD

YOU CANNOT CHARGE YOUR IPHONE WITH AN ONION

DONALD TRUMP HAS NOT AND WILL NOT EVER LEAVE A $10 000 TIP ON A $82.27 BILL.

THE FRENCH GOVERNMENT HAVE NOT PLEDGED 21 BILLION DOLLARS TOWARDS HAITI.

THE MONTAUK MONSTER IS NOT REAL

THE DERBYSHIRE FAIRY IS NOT REAL

THERE IS NO GOOGLE TV

IT IS NOT ILLEGAL TO SURF THE INTERNET DRUNK

GIANT CAMEL SPIDERS IN IRAQ DO NOT EXIST

HERCULES THE GIANT DOG IS NOT GIANT

and

THERE IS NO KREMVAX.

 

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